About Sara Malik
Slave - Lover - Student - Wife - Mother - Daughter - Sister - Friend
Marriage Coach - Author - Cherished Muslimah
I'm the founder of Cherished Muslimah, an online coaching platform which helps women to cultivate love and harmony in their marriages and lives in a way that gains them Allah's love.
I’m a women’s marriage coach and I coach ladies and often their husbands both face-to-face from home, and over Zoom.
I live in busy West London, right underneath the flight path, with my husband, three big sons (21,19 and 16 ) and a little 8-year-old daughter who is currently being homeschooled.
I’ve been married mashaAllah 22 years now, and life is as busy as ever, which it has been since I got married, really! We live together with my elderly parents in law and also our Bengal cat who loves pipe-cleaners and brings in mice all the time.
We have such a hectic schedule that it’s hard to plan things. We literally fly off the seat of our pants most of the time! Our family is part of Ha Meem Foundation, our extended family community. We attend monthly halaqahs, dhikr gatherings and being a part of the foundation enriches our lives, Alhamdulillah. We have a busy household, and there is something happening almost every evening, so when we have an evening free its more of a relief.
We try to go somewhere as a family at least once a year – which is always a bit of a challenge as someone always seem to have exams or busy with something else, or maybe just isn’t in the mood!
Coaching & Author Life
I’ve been coaching women since 2008 and have just published my new book, The Four Traits of a Cherished Muslimah – How it takes more than just love to nourish your marriage and its companion workbook! I am so excited about it – it took me ten years to write it, and many things were put on the back burner while I was busy with the writing and publishing process, but now, alhamdulillah, I’m back and ready to go!
I run an online marriage course called Cherished Seasons, which just start in March 2020, around about the same time as the COVID-19 lockdown. I help women to cultivate the four traits of leadership, love, wisdom and justice through the course of the four seasons of the year. It’s just started and developing beautifully, mashaAllah.
This year has all been about creating. Creating a new coaching platform, new routines and a new identity as a wife, mum, author and coach. Alhamdulillah I am so blessed to be making some really beautiful connections and growing the Cherished Muslimah team.
Men & Women
I am a champion of both women’s and men’s rights. My self-development journey has taken me down many paths. From being a people pleaser who just lived to make others happy, I became disdainful and disrespectful of those around me – when my own needs weren’t being met it led to me being bitter, resentful and controlling. Once I started to respect my own needs and limits, I was able to better respect my husband.
We live in an era where ‘feminism’ has become an excuse for women belittling men. We have had a rise in women becoming stronger and being recognised, which is great! But it has come at a cost of deprecating the qualities of men, which I think has been a great shame. Yet still, women don’t get the true recognition they deserve. We still have unfair standards for what is acceptable for men and women, and women still get abused unfairly, and many men (and women!) think it’s acceptable.
My journey took me down the road of what Islam says about this injustice, and this journey was rife with heartbreak. I found some really upsetting and unjust ‘teachings of Islam’ which led me to search for the truth. Does Allah really see women as inferior? And as I searched, Allah guided, all praise be to Him. I found teachers preaching a different tune. One that advocated women’s rights, autonomy, feistiness. One that embraced the nature of a woman.
Yet more importantly: how The Messenger of Allah, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, embraced the nature of a woman. I finally felt at peace.
I am now passionate about resurrecting the rights the Islam gave to women which have morphed into something unjust, strange-feeling yet widespread. I am desperate to smuggle back the God who loves women just as much as He loves men. And I am in love with His Messenger, who understood the struggle.
The struggle of women not being heard, not being having access to his teachings, being treated unjustly, being abused. He acknowledged the struggles and addressed them. He recognised their strengths and applauded them in the home and even on the battlefield. He spoke up for women and guided his male companions to do the same; may we all take his teachings as our guide. May Allah’s peace and blessings be showered upon him!