Arabian Nights

I am Sheherazade. I am here to guide you on how to captivate your husband and to inspire you to release your inner feminine being, the one who is comfortable in herself to add that mysteriously feminine touch to her marriage; to make the bond she shares with him deeply intimate and enveloping.

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Sex on the Wedding Night – Do I have to?

Dear Searching Damsel,

In the eastern culture, where premarital relations are not encouraged, and perhaps even forbidden, the ‘wedding night’ often comes with a lot of tension. A lot of women wonder if they ‘have’ to have a physical connection on that particular night and if consummation is really necessary.

The short answer is no.  You don't have to.  You may not feel ready.  You may need more time. And that is okay.

But... if you try it, you might be pleasantly surprised.

From the western perspective, a couple would go out and get to know one another before they felt a connection, and sexual intimacy would be the next gradual step. In the East, however, this is foreign, and getting married means that not only are you going to spend the rest of your lives together, and start a new journey together, but also that you are now ready to have sex.

Laura Doyle, in The Surrendered Single, says that when your boyfriend tries to kiss you on the first date, then do not decline him, and kiss him back. If you do not, you are letting him know that you are not romantically interested in him, and you may not have a very long relationship with your date.

The Surrendered Wife also talks about sex being a gift – and if you deny your man sex when he has made himself so vulnerable to you, you are not only rejecting his gift to you, but you are also rejecting him. Not only will this hurt his masculine pride, but also it will cause him to withdraw and refrain from making further advances.

So, if you are planning on getting married, you would do well to prepare yourself to receive his gifts, take plenty of time relaxing and pampering yourself, and be open and vulnerable to share this connection together. The start of a beautiful future, beginning with an intimate connection.

Yours ever,



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