Be Flexible

May 07, 2022

This is a repost of an article that was first published on Cherished and Successful on 25 Jun 2019 

For those of you who follow my posts, I recently shared how I had delegated the cleaning in the house so that I could fit in homeschooling amongst all my other responsibilities, and how I was having some challenges with my loved ones, to the point where I was thinking 'should I just get a cleaner?'

Well, those challenges eventually led to me getting a cleaner!

AlhamduliLlah, I now have a lovely lady who comes and helps me with four hours of housework, including cleaning the cooker, microwave, bathtub, doing the hoover and ironing my husband's shirts.  What's more, two members of the family chip in towards the bill so it's not that hard on me to pay for.  I thought it was best to write an article about it and to let you know that the Malik Family strive to find win-win solutions and to try, try again until we find them.

If what you are doing is not working, do something different.  Do ANYTHING different.

- NLP Presupposition

I speak to many ladies who continue to do things even though they are clearly detrimental to the wellbeing of their marriages and children... my advice is: if it isn't working, do something different!  And keep trying different solutions until you find one that works.  And keep praying to Allah to give you a solution that works.

My NLP teachers taught me that life is like a pancake recipe.  If you always add too much flour, you will keep on making dry pancakes.  No matter how many times you make those pancakes, if there is too much flour, those pancakes will always be dry.  And life is the same.  

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

- NLP Presupposition

Yet when you think outside the box, and consider different options and possibilities, you allow yourself to have more control of your life.

I tried and tried to get everyone in the house to help me with the cleaning.  And they were trying.  Allah knows they were trying.  But when they failed to do the things that needed to be done, and I clenched my teeth one more time (once again) and did it myself reminding them (loudly) that they hadn't done what they were meant to, again (one more time), and started babbling about magic coffee tables,  I realised that I was bordering on insanity.

‘The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over, and then expecting different results,’ 

- Einstein

I had plenty of opportunities to think and complain about why it was so difficult for my loved ones to just do what was agreed. Surely it's not too much to ask? But at the end of the day, I decided to look for someone to help me who would do it reliably and consistently every week, enabling me to keep my ship cruising down the ocean and to sit at the deck and enjoy the journey at the same time.  (Or curl up on the sofa at night time and watch Ertugrul and The Worst Witch with said loved ones)

The person with the most flexibility controls the system

- NLP Presupposition

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." - Andre Gide (my edit: the 'sure')[/caption]



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