The Unconditional Acceptance of Mother Energy

May 02, 2022

This month we look at the Energy of the Mother archetype and how she shows up in our lives. One of the characteristics of the Mother is her ability to give unconditional acceptance and love to others… and herself. In this article, I will be talking to you about self-esteem and holding others in esteem, which are the domains of the Mother. She instils a high sense of healthy self-esteem in those she loves, giving them wings to fly. She sees the potential in others and brings out the best in them. 

Overinflated Self Esteem 

But she also knows that an overinflated sense of self-esteem can be damaging, so she gently and firmly corrects and teaches her young ones that it is not okay to be arrogant. Each time she sees her loved ones become overexpressed in self-esteem, she gently brings them back down – she knows that if she doesn’t, they will become falsely empowered and risk becoming selfish, greedy and narcissistic. 

Low Self Esteem 

The Mother also knows that a deficiency of self-esteem can result in feelings of worthlessness. She knows that each and every creation of Allah is a special gem, created for a purpose, and so, if she sees anyone in this place, she builds them up, offers a hand of support and pulls them up, acknowledging all of their strengths and teaching them the words to express themselves to get their needs met. 

Seeing the best in Others and Herself 

She does this with others, also with herself, noticing if she ever goes ‘one-up’ on others or feels like she is less-than others. She knows that she and everyone else are all of the intrinsic value of 1 - no one is more or less than anyone else. She gives everyone value, her children (if she has any), those she cares about, and those she loves, including her spouse, if she’s married. 

Recognising our Flaws 

The Mother is wise – she knows that no one is perfect except Allah and that we all have flaws and imperfections. Because of this, she embraces imperfection in herself and others. Essentially she sees the good and the bad in everyone, and she knows that this only adds to the uniqueness of all of us. 

In this duality of strength and weaknesses, she sees how both she and others can be both:

  • beautiful and ugly – we all have our gorgeous sides and not so lovely
  • captivating and boring – depending on are talking about
  • intelligent and stupid – especially according to our own narrative
  • soothing and annoying – depending on the time of day, our mood, or their perspective on things 

The Mother knows that there are so many variations in each human being, and she holds each person, including herself, in warm regard, despite their flaws. 

She knows that to be human is to be flawed and that no one, not her child, parent, spouse, no one is perfect.  

Imperfect Spouses 

But sometimes, the flaws of others will directly impact her. Especially if that other is one’s spouse. 

Mother energy knows that every person, including her spouse, will have contradictory qualities and flaws, and she embraces that about them. So, when she sees some things she loves and hates in her spouse, she unconditionally accepts both traits - she holds space, grace and acceptance for both their qualities and deficiencies.   

Acceptable Acceptance, or not? 

If any of the deficiencies are problematic to her, she communicates them to her spouse, requesting change. But if her request isn’t granted, she knows that she always has a choice – to stay or leave, and so she always asks herself this question: am I getting enough in this relationship to let go of what I’m not getting? If the answer is no, then she knows it is time to leave unless things change radically.   If the answer is yes, then she accepts what she won’t get in her marriage – and she knows that she won't get everything - and she grieves that absence whilst in the same breath, celebrates what she is getting. She embraces her spouse’s imperfections and celebrates his strengths. 

Accepting her own flaws 

And similarly, the Mother archetype also accepts her own flaws and still holds herself in warm regard. When she finds herself berating herself, she catches herself and reminds herself that she is enough and worthy. When she finds herself berating others, she reminds herself that it is okay to have flaws and mess up. When she messes up, she accepts that she didn’t get it right; she takes the lessons, sees what she could do differently next time, forgives herself, and continues to have a good day. 

And by doing this, she is unconditionally accepting and loving, celebrating life. 

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